Rejection hurts.

When someone rejects us, our minds go into overdrive. We desperately search for all of the reasons we’ve found ourselves on the losing end of love, and we try to figure out what we could have done differently to prevent this from happening.

If we don’t have a clear understanding of the true meaning of rejection, we’ll inevitably think it’s our fault. That we’re the problem. That we’re the reason the people we wanted to be with didn’t want to be with us anymore.

This is when rejection is its most painful -- when we internalize it as a statement about who we are as people (our worth, desirability, or value), and use it as proof that we’re unlovable.

It’s no wonder this drives us a little crazy.

Thankfully this is only one way to experience rejection.

Because it doesn’t have to mean what we so often make it mean. In these moments we can instead remind ourselves of certain simple truths about rejection that will help us not feel so crushed by it.

You are worthy of aligned love.

The kind of love you dream about. That you wonder if you’ll ever find.

A love that may not look exactly like you expect it to, but that feels so good you couldn’t care.

The kind of love that doesn’t play games with your heart -- because it knows that anything that hurts you would hurt it too.

Love that would never make you feel unworthy. Unwanted. Unsure about where it stands.

You deserve a love that’s intensely curious about what makes you, you -- and stands in awe as the truth of you unfolds.

Love that’s ready for the kind of relationship you’re ready for.

That chooses you with an enthusiastic and unequivocal “YES!”

That’s all-in on who you are -- and wants more.

You're probably bracing for it already.

Those moments over the next however many weeks when you’ll find yourself mingling with people you wish you didn’t have to spend time with. Who, if you weren’t related to them -- or if you didn’t want to see the people who also happen to be related to them -- you wouldn’t even try.

Maybe they have political views that you think are offensive or immoral. Maybe they have an abrasive, combative personality -- they like to pick fights and get a rise out of people. Maybe you’re their common target, and they know just what to say to get under your skin. Maybe they’re just unpredictable, and you’re on edge the whole time because you don’t know what's going to set them off. Or maybe they’re those relatives who are relentlessly negative, cynical, or sullen in ways that bring you down too.

Whatever their specific traits are, one thing is certain: their attitude makes you so uncomfortable that you actually dread the family gatherings that you’d otherwise really look forward to.

But… what if you still could?

We have a lot of misconceptions about our emotions, especially around when it’s okay to feel them and when it’s not.

These beliefs limit our ability to comfortably navigate our relationships because they deprive us of our authentic emotional experience, and so we come to the interpersonal table without an essential part of ourselves.

These emotional filters can be so broad, and run so deep, that they invalidate not just the feelings themselves, but also who we are -- the person who feels them.

This dynamic is not necessarily our fault -- we’ve been conditioned not to allow ourselves our emotions -- but the responsibility for our experience does ultimately lie with us.

We can reclaim this part of ourselves by setting the record straight about the true nature of our emotions and by coming to a new agreement with ourselves about when it’s okay -- safe, secure, and even necessary -- to acknowledge, honor, and express them.