All too often when we prepare for an interaction with someone we’re at odds with, we prepare for war.
We go over and over in our heads all the ways in which we’re right in our understanding of what’s really going on and how the other person just doesn’t get it. We’re crystal clear on how our actions are justified and how theirs are reprehensible, how we are beyond reproach and the other person is guilty beyond belief. Guilty! How they’re the ones who are largely responsible for the trouble we’re having and we’re just along for the terrible, tumultuous ride.
And we’re going to make sure they know just how wrong they are.
Does this sound familiar?
Here’s the thing. When we approach our relationships looking for conflict, we'll find conflict. When we approach someone with attack thoughts, more often than not they will reflexively defend themselves (and vice versa).
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